Last Night Part I

She comes into my room

and she smiles, the tears renewed

under puffs of pouched pain

and she says:

“You’ve never looked so beautiful;

You could be in movies.

You could be on TV.

Just remember that no matter

what happens I love you

so much.”

She touches her chest

and her face crumples

like rocks on a mountain.

I smile at her,

eyes aglean with fear and think

she is a mountain too far

for me to climb.

There is no air to breathe

in the dense compressing thoughts

that envelope her

alone.

She lives in her thoughts

only physically with me

in our home.

images (7)

No more

You say to me:

“I love you.

You are my one and only.

It will always be you.

You are the one.

Maybe we can date

in the summer

and see how things go?

We can take things slow.

And grow

at a healthy pace.

We can learn our lessons

and be the people

we want one another to be.

Rectify mistakes

and recognise where we went wrong.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you too.

It make me happy when you say it

back when I say it to you.”

Then you put a photo on Facebook

of you and the girl.

The one you travelled parts

of the world with.

The one you would give

your time to,

when you ran from me

you ran to.

The one you say:

“I love her too much

to have a relationship with her.

We spoke about it.

We even kissed

but I realised I love you,

it was you I really missed.

I think of you a lot

I miss your pretty face,

I havent had sex since you,

I miss that, miss us, our space.

That tiny little bubble,

it was so intense,

I miss being in love now

and so hence

I joined a dating site,

the one with lots of fish,

but its you I love Jo.

Its you, its us I miss.”

Then you put a picture up on Facebook

of you and the one that helps you spread the pain.

You write:

“I love my beautiful wife so much.”

and I know I won’t do this again.

Heartthrob

The saddest thing I ever seen

was when reality became a dream,

sobbing into pillows like a teen,

my heart throb throbs as I try to sleep.

 

Think of you with every heart beat

that throbs as thoughts become a feat

You want to talk, I don’t want to meet.

I see you every night in every sleep.

 

What is life, but just a dream?

What is life when you have no team?

I close my eyes and see you in dreams,

my heart throb throbs, pulsates like a teens.

 

I used to have posters on my wall

of me and you before our fall

from grace and now you are so small

as I look down: the hurt and scorned.

 

And now the posters have been torn

and my life:  a pulsating storm,

of grey and blue and streaks of black,

but I can’t have my heartthrob back.

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Sweetheart, What Have You Done To Us

This is a song by Keaton Henson. I don’t know, the lyrics and his voice are just heartbreaking…

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCNtWKdi5Ds

 

Sweetheart, what have you done to us?

I turned my back and it turned to dust

What have you done?

 

Oh please, just come here, don’t fight with me

And I think you may have broken it

Will you admit?

 

If all you wanted was songs for you

Here goes, after all that you put me through

Here’s one for you

 

And don’t call me, lover

It’s not enough

It’s got to be tough, cynical stuff

Follow my words to the end of our love

 

You were the one who told me not to be, so English

 

Sweetheart, what have you done to our love?

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Just a Jingle

Heart shaped stones all over the beach,

cracked in the middle, just like me.

I get a rushing in my ears from the sea

whenever I think of you and me.

You and me, like we used to be,

Instagram photo style memories,

it’s all we were, it’s what I need,

but there’s no return to who we used to be.

Is it better to feel love’s misery

having felt love from you to me?

Instagram photo style memories

of happy shiny people with all they need.

They lost it all to life’s miseries.

Gotta be one of love’s mysteries…

Got all you want in a morning hug,

got all you need in morning love.

Give me a kiss, a goodbye hug,

I’ve got instagram flashbacks but is it enough?

It’s not enough.

Happiness

Woke up this morning,

opened my eyes,

looked in the mirror,

what a surprise:

I’m still me.

Nothing has changed.

And I’m the only one

who is to blame.

Look in the mirror,

tug at my hair,

put on lots of make up

even though I don’t care.

Throw on a hoody

and a crappy pair of jeans

I’m just a layabout crybaby,

a no-good has-been.

Can’t get a job,

can’t keep a girl,

the only thing I got

is a dog in the whole world.

Wanna make a change,

start a revolution

but lying in my bed

seems a simpler solution.

Happiness is within

what a simple notion

but if it was on sale

I’d rather buy a potion.

Wanna be the change

that I want in the world

not be this little poet

crying over girls.

Happiness is a fish

swimming in my soul,

I’ll give it chicken soup

to make it feel whole.

Wanna be the change

that I want within me,

wanna be the person

that will make me happy,

and for that I must

take responsibility.

That unhappy little fish

swimming in my soul,

I’m gonna give it chicken soup

and make it feel whole.

Running

Evacuation of your love

never thought you’d give it up

always thought that we’d fight rough

playing dirty, draining blood.

You drained me and you reigned on me

Made me blind through stains that leech

Black lines streaking down my cheeks

sticking, tarring, shadowing.

Shadow boxing in the hall

made me want you more and more

punching my darkness against the wall

it cracks as my breath starts and stalls.

I want to say all I need to say

but nothing matters anyway.

There is no loving that can stay.

There are always those that run away.

There are always those that run and hide,

peeking from the darkness in my mind.

Seen from the corner of my eye,

only to disappear, a sorry lie.

I always believed in one true love

but the Gods, they called my bluff.

They left me broken and alone

with a burden well world known.

I want to say all I need to say

but nothing matters anyway.

There is no loving that can stay.

There is always one that got away.