Dorothy was off to see the Wizard,
the wonderful wizard of Oz.
After a particularly difficult
and demanding time at the farm
at home, Dorothy had dreamt
of a new and exciting life.
No dog stealing bitches or
unappreciative family members,
this new life in an exotic far off land
was definitely for Dorothy.
Dorothy landed in a country,
strange yet spangly,
familiar yet foreign.
Small, squat sweet faces
were there to meet and greet her
and although they were
teeny, tiny, titchy little dwarves
their hearts seemed large
as they invited her
to follow them down
It was winding and curly;
a stray pubic hair
leading to cock.
Doe eyed Dorothy didn’t know
what was to become of her
as they all linked arms, skipping with joy.
Passing picturesque scenery
Dorothy become acutely aware
of the skips increasing in haste
and there being no time to waste.
The munchkin’s broke into a run
as the greenery became bare, bald
and bristling with thorns
as the munchkins dug theirs into the arms
of their innocent new visitor.
Dear Dorothy could only wonder
what had happened to this dark
and dingy place.
Beneath her shoes the road ran red
and neon signs for titty bars
could be seen from every
periphery of her eye.
“We certainly aren’t in Kansas anymore Toto.”
said Dorothy to the dog
who was whimpering, with a needle sticking out of his paw.
Lifting Toto and removing
the AIDs ridden needle, Dorothy was led
into a dark, dirty room
where she was gang raped repeatedly
by smutty, salacious
and insatiable munchkins
while Toto took a hit from the hip
crack dealing pimp, Mr. Wiz.
“You are nothing but a phoney!”
sobbed Dorothy to the wired wizard
who was too high to dish out
the typical Pimp beat down.
Instead he smiled sweetly and told her:
“You have it inside yourself
to leave here; you always have.
All you have to do is pay off the debt
you owe me for buying you off Aunty Em.
Oooh, lets say twenty munchkins a day
for twenty years will just about cover it.”
With that he waved his magic wand at her
and sprayed wet, white confetti
in her face.
With a “AH, AH, ALAKAZAM!”
he zipped his pants and left.
Dorothy held the doped up dog
and said “I want to go home.”
It was then that a beautiful blonde
burst into the room with a bedazzling smile.
Introducing herself as the good witch
(if Dorothy did as she was told)
the woman gave Dorothy some sparkly,
spangly, shiny, rose red shoes
and cut the length of her dress
so you could almost see her breakfast.
“Please, I want to go home.” whispered Dorothy
which gave the witch much amusement.
She beamed a bedazzling smile
and said “Just click your heels five times
when the customers come in
and go back to your home.
Go anywhere in your head but here.
Go on, try it.”
Dorothy in her naivete nodded,
nudged her knees together and:
Click! Click! Click!
went the shoes.
Dorothy awoke back at home in her bed,
bewildered at the concerned face above her.
She asked “Aunty Em, is that you?”
“Yes my dear, who else would it be?
I’m sorry, Dorothy,
I’m afraid our farm of crystal meth
and weed caused a small fire
that knocked you out…
what with you not being a user and all.”
Aunty Em paused, pensively,
what did you think to that hit anyhow?
I can give you family rate
like I do your uncles.”
“No! Aunty Em, No!” shouted Dorothy
“I won’t ever do drugs again!”